Today I am going to see The Incredible Hulk. Amidst a week of travel, I hardly even knew it was in theaters before a friend of mine started raving about it yesterday. I remember seeing the previews, and while I am excited for the cast (Edward Norton is always excellent; Liv Tyler still remains attractive after what seems to be many many years of acting; Tim Roth was the only good part of Planet of the Apes), I am still slightly skeptical because I tend to be wary of giant CG interacting with human films. Regardless, I’m hoping they can get past that and present a good story, sweet action, etc. At least I’m going for a matinee — maybe I’ll get a discount.

I’ve seen a lot of websites. Heck anyone has, but I’ll go out on a limb to say I browse sites more than most, and having created a few I can get bored very easily with the bad ones. I must say though that quirky writing of a site really makes me fuzzy inside. I don’t know how many of you out there have ever been to www.woot.com, but I highly suggest a look. Every day, they post a product there for a usually lower than normal price, and they sell it to you via money. Pretty standard for, you know, buisnesses. The thing that makes this site interesting is the absolutely amazing writers that are employed on staff. Whoever these writers are, bra-vo! They could make me want to buy a fifty dollar lip synching Elvis kareoke machine. I almost thought about it by the way. For example, I really must share with you all one of the product descriptions that made me pee my panties a little. (This is not reprinted with permission but as a disclaimer I did not write this at all, it was the Woot guys from Woot incorporate in Wootville USWoot, ,they rock). And be sure to sing in tune with the song Wonderwall by Oasis.

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As usual, Dalton ate my face off about not posting. Perhaps he was right to do so. Also I may have been driving through different states, coming from a weekend without an internet connection. All possible. Instead I spent most of my non-writing-yet-somewhat-free time bowing down to his random blog formatting demands and arbitrary settings changes. Those whip marks on my back will be slow to heal.

Really though, there is a larger reason why I havent been posting on time. I seem to be almost weighed down as a result of lifestyle choices. Those choices involve mostly chicken. Today I’m going to break down some mega math, I hope everyone is ready, hold on to your butts.
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I may not know anything about who Gambit or Rogue is, but I can figure a few things out on why that whole situation could have been handled a little bit easier if Gambit spent a little less time crime fighting and a little more time researching how to live through sex.  To me the situation seems pretty straightforward.  Ring up Professor X, he knows a lot of stuff, mostly about science.  Being that he’s psychic, he also really knows that Gambit wants to get it on.  I don’t need an X Brain to figure that one out. Anyhow, Professor X then gets Beast in charge of some sweet, comfortable, Rogue shaped latex suit.  A body condom if you will. Third step is to invest heavily in Vaseline. That stuff is cheap, I’m sure you can find a gallon of it for like 10 bucks. Fourth, get Rogue in that suit, and get that Vaseline on. Now just let nature take it’s course. Sure it’s not quite as intimate as real skin, but there are downsides to being stupid enough to date someone you can’t touch.

Chances are it wont be the greatest thing they have ever experienced, but she really has nothing to compare it to anyway.  On second thought maybe Beast should implant some sort of penile authentication for Gambit, but maybe that would be a bit much. Then again, you’ve already taken it quite over the line, might as well keep running.

Also upon thinking of some of those pros and cons, I can add a few of my own.

Pro Additions:
1). MIDF
2). Also chance of her turning into some sort of supermodel during.
3). Same appearance, tons more experience.

Con Additions:
1). Could turn into Andy Rooney at any moment just to watch you slowly curl up and die.

Just saying, the guy took a risky way out.

What’s the one word that CBS Sportsline chose to describe tonight’s Stanley Cup winners? That’s right . . . 

This is the first post being made on Unflappings. Ironically enough, it is also atypical from what you will normally see here, but I feel like taking a shit on our agenda is a moot point considering what I’m about to subject you to: the next great super hero — Mirageman.

This Chilean action film mixes the best of dark plot elements with comedic ’70s montages. For the low budget it holds, this film is nothing short of remarkable. For one, the star has absolutely nothing super about him, and he doesn’t have much money either (think Batman minus the gear). He’s essentially a Chilean karate master going around kicking ass on back-alley thugs. I don’t want to reveal too much because I’d rather you watch the film yourself, but let me just say that if you like outstanding fight scenes, David Bowie, Adam West style Batman, and making fun of reality shows, then you’re in for a treat!

Now why am I posting this? Because I wish they’d make a comic out of this! It can even be in Spanish for all I care! And if they’ve already made one — then your mission is to tell me immediately.

Also, keep an eye out for “mirageman” t-shirts. I predict them to be the next “vote for Pedro.”