Written by: Dwayne McDuffie
Cover artist: Ken Steacy
Pencils: Ernie Colon
Inks: Alfredo Alcala
Letters: Dan Nakrosis
Color: Clydene Nee

Today I chose to read Ultraman! And I’m not going to lie…it’s pretty freaking sweet. Ultraman is a 300 foot tall superhero from space who travels to inhabited planets and fights whatever ugly, over-grown monster happens to be attacking civilization. The issue I read is #1 in the series and therefore gives a kind of background on Ultraman.

We meet Ultraman in space as he fights the evil, vagina-shaped Gudis; purveyor of disease and attacker of cities. Apparently Ultraman was originally born in Japanese children’s TV in 1966. Thus, he’s kind of like the human equivalent of Godzilla: he fights monsters the size of sky-scrapers and essentially saves the day while the rest of us lowly citizens run screaming from the city. But Ultraman’s not really a human if he’s 300 feet tall. And in the comic he saves an astronaut who’d been attacked by Gudis on Mars. By saving the guy, Ultraman somehow incorporates the human’s soul/body/mind into him and Ultraman and the astronaut become one and fight monsters for a while.

Eventually the astronaut goes his own way and detaches from Ultraman’s ego. But one day, that pesky Gudis attacks the astronaut again and Ultraman is called to the scene for help. That’s where the comic ends and it leaves me hoping I can find issue #2.

Anyways, how sweet would it be to be 300 feet tall? Pretty freaking awesome. You would never have to wait in line at the Empire State Building (which trust me, it’s a long ass wait), you could just climb to the top and look out at Manhattan. You’d also never have to see any mountains from afar or spend hours climbing a 14,000 footer (or a fourteener) in Colorado because you could just sit on the top and read a newspaper without much effort.

But you know, if it was in today’s world, you’d probably be wrangled by some bitch-ass scientists who then do all these tests on you and put you in an incredibly large zoo. So it might actually suck. I dunno though, if I had the choice, it’d be pretty cool to be really tall for a while. Especially considering I’m only 5 foot 2.

What would YOU do if you were 300 feet tall?