World War Hulk: Gamma Corps Issue 2
Writer: Frank Tieri
Art: Carlos Ferreira 

Naturally, I like to finish a series once I’ve started, so today I took on book two of the Gamma Corps spin-off of World War Hulk. Book two wasn’t much better than the first. Maybe if you’re a big fan of pointless spin-offs, it’s good. But halfway into the series, the story is still being set up. This most recent book cut scenes faster with more cheesy tie-ins than Babel. I want to continue my argument from the last week: Why is violence more acceptable than bad language?

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Book of Lost Souls: Introductions All Around
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Penciler: Colleen Doran

Finally something I can semi sink my darkness craving teeth into.  It’s not quite dark enough yet…but maybe I’ll pursue that in time. To me there is nothing wrong with an old suicidal dude who gets catapulted a century and has to harvest souls or something.  And as usual, cats are really stupid, but this one takes the cake.

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World War Hulk Gamma Corps Issue 1
Writer: Frank Tieri
Artist: Carlos Ferreira 

I recently started reading the Gamma Corps spin-off of World War Hulk. I honestly never had interest in reading it, but the series was on sale at the local comic shop recently at a price that was practically impossible to pass up (see Conan post — I’m a sucker). Issue #1 was more setting the tone than anything else. What bugged me about this issue was the censorship. Fortunately for the kiddies out there, all swearing was $%@’d out. Unfortunately for me, it sort of ruined my reading experience.

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Since I am a lazy ass and haven’t even done a comic review this week. The reason is also because I try to hide my comic reading from those I live with. I’m a closet case, deal with it. I figure I better boggle your feeble minds with an even more grand story. Well of course I’m talking about every little boys dream of building a fantastic fort. Start out with just a sheet when you are real small, not knowing the half of it. Later you develop an infatuation with boxes and build the crap out of those for a while. Boxes are great, but they are preconstructed and therefore cheating. I would actually still totally use them if I had big enough boxes, but I dont fit in those anymore. So I will share with you today a few of my favorite fort designs of the past (and future) in brilliant paint glory. Read on.

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Nightwing and Huntress Issue 1 (of 4)
Writer: Devin Grayson
Art: Greg Land and Bill Sienkiewicz

This issue deals with the mob and hookers. Fun ‘ol 1998 themes. Something strange caught my eye, though. I’m not sure if the writers are just lazy or if this is intentional, but they definitely mixed up their cultures. The title of the book is “Casa Notra: Familia.” Now, I could be wrong, but isn’t the mafia typically Italian? Also, there are plenty of hints that they are in this book such as the names “Malfatti,” Pasquale,” and the old Italian man mob-boss. So right, we’re straight now, right? Then why is the title in Spanish!?

Familia = Spanish
Famiglia = Italian

Yes, they are both romantic languages, but no, they are not the same! I’m not sure whether to attribute this to cultural ignorance or just that this was written in the 90s. Because I’m in a good mood, I think I’ll give the issue a pass and blame it on the 90s, a generation that makes for a wonderful scapegoat.

Please, though, watch your languages next time. 

(P.S. Sorry about my crappy camera image of this comic)

Conan the Cimmerian (June ‘08) Issue #0
Writer: Timothy Truman
Artist: Tomas Giorello
Colorist: Jose Villarrubia

When you’re looking at a giant wall of comics, picking out your week’s selections, how do you pass up a $.99 issue? It’s like those old 1-800-Collect commercials asking what you can get for a dollar these days, except those were like 10 years ago, and prices are even higher now. So yeah, a comic for less than a buck is hard to pass up. That’s probably why I didn’t pass it up because in all honesty I’ve never really understood the fanship of Conan / have had absolutely interest in him or his stories. So was my dollar with it? Hit the jump to find out.

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Writers: Matt Cherniss, Peter Johnson
Artist: Phil Briones
Letterer: Cory Petit
Colourist: Paul Mounts

Today I was ruffling through my stack of potentials and then the sky fell out, rain style. So I figured I should go with some water themed deal, lo and behold, I found something just to fit outside.  I’m not quite sure if the whole “Sub Mariner” thing is supposed to be a pun or what. Maybe it’s just literal and thats all there is to it.

Anywho, this storyline was moist with betrayal from a lost son (?). Dad’s, if you have a kid you lost track of a few years ago, make sure you either go out and try to reunite with him, or brace for some crazy retribution action. As usual, I had a few questions about the whole deal.

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Ultimates 3 Issue #1
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Artists: Joe Madureira and Christian Lichtner 

Jeph Loeb is a stud. Everyone who reads comics knows that. Tony Stark is a stud. Everyone in general knows that. Sex sells. Everyone in the stratosphere knows that. No wonder this comic sold so well when it came out.

On the first page Tony Stark is caught in a sex scandal with the Black Widow. This somehow leads to Venom being absolutely pissed off (but then again, when isn’t he?) and some other crazy shit, and later we learn that Quicksilver and a special someone are in love (can you say incest?). Yes, this issue is pretty risque. As many flaws as there are (although I don’t believe it’s quite as shitty as The X-axis makes it out to be), I’d like to see where this one is going. Loeb keeps the pace up with an eventful issue, and with his history, I’m confident he’s got a larger plan.  But reviewing this thing is a whole ‘nother story, and that’s not what I do.

So I’d like to keep talking about sex because, well, when isn’t that a saucy topic?

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My absence was completely excuseable. This past weekend I drove interstate to build a boat completely out of cardboard and race it amongst the village people. No not the actual village people, but those in my native town. It may sound stupid, weird, illgoical, but thats exactly why I enjoy it. Also building a boat that supports 6-7 people in one night takes its toll, so I was relatively incapactiated.

Also to make up for my slackage, I have comic post coming a bit later today. I could put it up now but I need to configure my scanner or some shit. Point is, watch out.  I was actually thinking on my road trip journey on comics I would like to actually seek out and read. List incomplete but here goes:

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Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen Issue 1
Writers: John Layman, Tom Peyer, and Jim Massey
Artists: Scott Chantler and Robbi Rodriguez

Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen makes his debut in this “action-packed” double issue put out by Comedy Central and Oni Press. Note that there are two stories; the names after the “and” that I wrote above are one, and the names before the and are another. The issue has two covers, and I used the one from the Massey – Rodriguez story because frankly I like it better. The first issue tries to hard while the second is much shorter but oh so very sweet. One of my favorite lines is after the jump: 

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