Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen Issue 1
Writers: John Layman, Tom Peyer, and Jim Massey
Artists: Scott Chantler and Robbi Rodriguez

Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen makes his debut in this “action-packed” double issue put out by Comedy Central and Oni Press. Note that there are two stories; the names after the “and” that I wrote above are one, and the names before the and are another. The issue has two covers, and I used the one from the Massey – Rodriguez story because frankly I like it better. The first issue tries to hard while the second is much shorter but oh so very sweet. One of my favorite lines is after the jump: 

I’m aware of the shitty resolution. I need to work on things, but I’ll tell you what each bubble says. To put it in context, Jansen has to undergo a procedure to turn green and get horns on his head so he can infiltrate a political system on another planet where smooth-heads are discriminated by horned — or “horny” — heads (brilliant social commentary, eh?). In this part, he walks up to the woman — a smooth head — and narrates (first frame) ” I decided to leave her a few solar-creds to cover the drink.” (frame two) “And some words that you really couldn’t put a price on.” Those words? Gracefully, Jansen says “I would have had sex with you, Doris, if I wasn’t on such a tight schedule.” Lines like that I can picture coming from Colbert’s mouth, and that’s what makes Massey’s comic purely brilliant. The conclusion is also hilarious as Jansen royally fucks over the whole planet. But here’s the problem: Massey isn’t the writer of the series.

Layman pens the rest of the series, which is a disappointment to me because while he did have some high points (including a killer cat), Massey feels so much more on-par with Colbert’s sense of humor. When you’re going to base something off of another person’s humor, it should be emulated as well as possible . . . which brings me to another point.

Why couldn’t Colbert have had more of a part in this? I understand the guy runs a tight shift, but it’d be nice if he could’ve at least been in charge or the first issue or had a spin-off 5 or 6 page story. I’d like to see Colbert’s mind at work in a comic. I’m sick of money being made purely off a name. Tek Jansen is such a funny character, and Colbert’s readings from his books are often highlights on the show. It just feels weird without him being an integral part of the comic. Or at least the show’s writers . . . something. Otherwise this feels like no more of a connection than Paul Newman has to his pretzels. 

Regardless, because I’m a sucker, I’ll probably pick up the next issue since a) it’s already out and b) I’d like to see where the series goes. But I’m not picking it up as happy as a chipper school girl. No, more like a hopeless optimistic.